Learning How To Say "NO!"

The StressFish admits to being something of a perfectionist. He prides himself on being able to handle lots of stress, keep multiple plates spinning in the air, and being that reliable guy you can always call on and they'll leap to your rescue.

But recently, this all has seemed like not such a good idea.

People pile more and more projects on, at any time; and the already overflowing task line is getting dangerously unstable, and nothing seems to get done properly any more.

In the final stages of this, nothing gets done at all any longer.

So the StressFish is learning how to say, "No."

At first, this was nearly painful, terrifying - if you don't do and be everything to everyone, won't people stop respecting you? Won't you feel like a failure? What of the quest to be that perfect StressFish of whom mommy and daddy can be proud?

Here's what the StressFish came to realise.

If perfection is required, this can only obtained by protecting projects and the flow and order and sequence in which these projects are executed from all these intrusions and extra tasks being piled on.

So the StressFish no longer leaps up to run to the dry cleaners for a favour for a friend or colleague when asked; he now calculates a suitable time WHEN THE MOST IMPORTANT PROJECTS HAVE BEEN FINISHED and offers this to the favour asker - "I'll pick up your dry cleaning tommorrow, around 8pm ..."

Oh? That's too late?

Too bad ...

But do let me know if you want me to do it tommorrow still ....

And now, back to the real task in hand.

With the success of this tactic, the StressFish is becoming braver.

He even says, "No!" now sometimes when asked to do this, or that, or that other thing, or could you just please ...

"No. I am finishing an important project at the moment, and I couldn't give yours the time and attention it clearly deserves. I wouldn't want to let you down ..."

It is astonishing how many of these random, spurious interruptive requests from others simply go away once one stops leaping into action immediately. Seems that the StressFish was NOT the only rescue, SuperMan flying in to save the hapless - because when he said no, they found someone else instead!

The fact that the projects the StressFish are working on becoming MORE perfect, more elegant, and his time is much better spent with much less stress is a revelation.

He is still always trying to be helpful - but not automatically so any longer, and no longer at the cost of his own projects, his time, and his performance.

Live Longer With Less Stress - Time Distortion

It has come to the StressFishes attention that if you want to live longer, and stay younger for as long as possible, you need to de-stress.

And that's not really about the usual health risks associated with stress - premature grey hair, heart attacks, sagging, impotence and all that malaky.

No - what I'm talking about here is subjective time, and time distortion.

Have you ever heard people say, "When I was a kid, a week seem to last forever. Now that I'm 50, time just seems to flash by so fast!"

Yeah - that would be subjective time, or time distortion at work.

When you're stressed, things speed up.

Subjective time becomes shorter.

This is bad news on many different levels.

For one, your response time becomes shorter - you don't have the time to respond right, or get everything done that needs to be done.

Not because there's not enough time, but because what there is has been distorted into a kind of fast forward mode.

This is a direct effect of stress, and has a direct cause and effect relationship with stress, meaning that the more stressed you are, the faster time starts to run.

Which leads to feeling out of control, that there isn't enough time, that you're constantly running at full speed but never getting anywhere, and that creates even more stress all around.

So what is to be done?

It's simple.

As soon as you notice that there doesn't seem to be enough time, you need to STOP.

STOP and employ one of the many, many de-stressing techniques there are available, on the spot. Many only take SECONDS and you can feel the stress ebbing away.

At the same time, notice that your vision expands - you're getting your periphery back - the colours are getting brighter, objects are more sharply defined and clearer; you become aware of sounds that you didn't hear before, and, most importantly, TIME SLOWS RIGHT DOWN.

Now there's plenty of time all of a sudden to react quickly to what needs to be done, and to see what is important to do.

Now, things that were difficult become easier and often, difficulties simply disappear altogether.

Every time you de-stress, you GAIN LIFE TIME.

Both ways - health wise a few extra seconds of living are gained, and in subjective time, which is our memories and eventually, all of time we actually know as human beings.

So remember when time seems to run away from you, or simply if you want to make the most of your time of life, DE-STRESS.

Not at the end of the day, or once a year on holiday, but LITTLE DE-STRESSING HOLIDAYS inside of the days themselves.

That's what slows down time for you and leads in every way to a much better life all around.

"Time is my friend."